Why do you pee in the first days of school?

Why do you pee in the first days of school?

English translation of my article: ¿Por que se hace pipi en los primeros dias de escuela?

The first days of school for Child Education students are filled with many new developments in their lives that can affect their emotions and behavior.

Source: http://www.mycutegraphics.com/graphics/school/classroom/owl-bathroom-monitor.html

I do not know if they have verified that when in our adult lives there are periods of changes our character changes as well as our rest time, ... This same happens to the children, but with the difference that they do not yet have the tools sufficient to be able to manage them effectively.

Normally when it is normal for daycare students or Early Childhood Educators (or Primary Education if they never attended Infant Education) to express their restlessness, nervousness, and stresses of change with having a bath. We as adults must understand that they are situations not common to them, and therefore, we must talk to them and see what happens to them, explain that it is normal and that as such an accident will have the attention it should. It is obvious that we should not make a spectacle, or drama about the subject, much less ridicule them.

Occasionally, other situations can also affect the toilet: excitement in the game when you are in the playground, nightmares, presence of unpleasant situations like fights, separations and divorces, illness, ...

Many times we think of more students of Childhood Education as mini adults. It is true that more and more are asked for more responsibilities and, at the same time, they are still children and children with very early ages. Their personalities are still forming, in addition, not all have the same process and time of maturation, so we can not create great challenges, nor have high expectations of them, remember are children and girls in the process of growth and learning.

The problem, as explained on the site www.bebesano.com, usually disappears spontaneously after a period of weeks or months, the time depends on the support given to find the cause or how quickly the child adapt to the new situation that caused the discomfort.

"When these things happen, parents should stay calm, as they may also not be enough for children, and they do so as a wake-up call. They are generally thought to be spoiled and challenged, beaten, punished, when it is advisable to speak to them, ask them, listen to them, "advises Astudillo, who warns that neither should the child be blamed. Much less comment on what happened with the whole neighborhood, that creates a feeling of guilt and shame in the minor that in no way contributes to improve the situation" points out Astudillo.

When there are "changes" in their lives, please inform your teachers as soon as possible so that you can start working on possible solutions. Remember that the teacher of your child is an ally of you, is one of the most important pillars of their lives, and with who often your child spends a lot of time - almost as a member of the family. For this reason, we recommend to take away misconceptions about being judged, discuss the changes, and ask the counselor of your school so that you can be offered solutions and/or alternatives.

Fears and phobias in children

FEARS AND PHOBIAS IN CHILDREN

Free and non-commercial translation of the article in Spanish: Miedos y fobias en la infancia. Fears and phobias in childhood

Fears are very common in certain periods of the child's age. Usually they are passengers and of little intensity.

Fears are emotions characterized by an intense, usually unpleasant sensation, triggered by the perception of a danger, real or supposed, present, future, or even past. They derive from natural aversion to risk or threat, and are manifested in all animals, which includes man.

Fears are very common phenomena throughout the development of the child. They usually appear coinciding with certain age periods, these fears are generally passive and of low intensity, spontaneously regressing as the child matures and develops. They are known as "evolutionary fears".

Phobias and anxiety are fears of great intensity, irrational and especially disproportionate to the risk of the situation or feared object that generally do not pose a real threat (darkness, small animals, etc.). They can cause an anxiety reaction and have negative repercussions on a personal and family level.

Most common fears in children are:

1) Fear of the dark: appears in one of every three children by 2 years and decreases to 8-9. It may include ingredients of other fears, such as fear of separation, imaginary and dangerous beings, thieves, noise, and abandonment.

It can be helped by accompanying him until he can fall asleep, keeping some light on that gradually reduces the intensity or leaving a small pilot. Try to make the sleeping environment as pleasant as possible. It is important to establish previous routines at bedtime, as these rituals will reassure you, helping you achieve a healthy sleep. It is recommended to avoid excessive activation before going to sleep. He can be kept company for a few minutes, talking about what happened in the day, reading a story or singing a song in a voice as monotonous as possible to induce sleep. Then he is clothed and always fired in the same way. If you need it, the maneuver can be repeated until you understand that it will remain in your bed and that nothing will happen to you.

2) Fear of separation: Fear of separating the persons with whom the child is affectively united is one of the most consolidated fears in the human species. It appears when you are away from the reference people to which you are linked, especially from the mother. It is normal for this fear to be transmitted from the age of 6, although in a small percentage it is maintained, evolving towards a disorder called "separation anxiety".

In order to avoid this problem, it is essential to promote from the outset the child's autonomy behaviors (avoiding overprotection, reinforcing the child's independence ...). Brief separations can be made at the beginning and made longer, congratulating and rewarding the achievements achieved by the child. Delegate care to other family members and ensure that other people closely relate to them (such as letting them sleep at a friend's house, etc.).

3) School fears: specific fears are included as specific elements or situations of the school environment (specific subjects, repeat course, dining room, etc.), being separated from parents or social activities that take place in school ( speaking in class, conflicting relationships with peers, etc.). This type of fears, unlike the others that diminish with the passage of the years, increase with the age. They need a strong attitude of parents and the collaboration of teachers. Prolonged school absences must be avoided, since every day that passes without going to school complicates returning to class.

4) Medical fears: include fears of physical pain, medical procedures and the health context (medications, injections and vaccines, blood, gowns and professionals, especially dentists).

Positive experiences in consultations function as a cushion that cushions the effect of subsequent damages. The calm attitude of the parents and the positive relationship with the health personnel are also protective factors.

General advice

Most child fears and fears disappear on their own without treatment, as the child matures and learns strategies to cope with feared situations. It is advisable to help him overcome his fears, avoid over protection and encourage the child to solve difficulties with help, but not always solved problems.

It must be borne in mind that sometimes fear is perpetuated by the advantages which, unintentionally, are gained by it. On the one hand, parents often adopt a sympathetic and tolerant attitude, providing the child with more whims or advantages and, on the other hand, can discharge obligations, duties or responsibilities. It should be really assessed whether it is desirable to make certain concessions (letting it pass into the parents' bed when there are night fears, leaving them at home without going to school, etc.) 

The use of fear to control child behavior is an inadequate educational practice. The "if you're not good, call the ..." or "if you do not take the syrup, we'll take you to the hospital to get punctured" solve the situations momentarily, but can generate problems in the long term. It is better to educate positively, using praise and encouragement, instead of threats and coercion. 

The fearful child can employ strategies to escape or avoid feared situations (such as pretending to have a stomachache to avoid going to school, crying when alone). If this happens you should avoid getting into quarrels or arguments. It is preferable to indifference, to have patience and to pretend that no complaints or tantrums are heard, celebrating on the contrary any positive action of the child, however insignificant, aimed at overcoming the fear. 

It is advisable to train the child in courage, encouraging him to gradually face up to situations that cause fear, highlighting their courageous behaviors with verbal aids (well !, super!, etc.) that are more powerful if accompanied by physical contact (clashing palms, slapping the back , etc.) 

Imitation has much to do with the acquisition of childish fears, so it is important to maintain composure and disguise one's fears in the presence of the child. The feelings of security aroused by the parent company counteract fear. It is advised to minimize the normal manifestations of fear of the child and try to remain calm in times of stress, otherwise the opposite result will be obtained and the child will be altered more. In new situations, changes can be added gradually, both in times as in intensity, so that it becomes accustomed (for example: to visit with the nursery before the first day of the school year). 

Other recommendations

Please, try to avoid the exposure to frightening experiences. You would be recommended to select films, readings, stories and shows appropriate for their age, not  horror movies or indiscriminate violence. It is useful at times to play  in fearful circumstances (sense of humor). 

If these general advice is not enough and the fear is intense, persistent and has negative repercussions on the child and his environment, it will be appropriate to look for another solution, talk to your doctor/physician.